It's the off season right now. It's the perfect time to become famous for being infamous. No one buys the squeaky clean thing. Ditch it. Be the bad boy. That's the way we sell tabloids.
Have a little too much to drink on Wednesday afternoon. Get pulled over by a cop before 10PM. What's one night in jail? It's time to join the wide array of celebs with mug shots.
Stay a little too long at 7-11 while intoxicated on Saturday night. Make them escort you off the premises.
This all may sound a little un-McCoyish and that's fine. In fact, if you're so against it, we can even stage all of these events. All you have to do is pretend to have some sort of addiction. Judging by your affinity to milk, it shouldn't be that big of a stretch. We'll take care of the rest.
We've even picked the perfect place for you to kick your dirty habits. Promises. Yes, Promises. Every celebrity who doesn't really want to get better goes to this rehab. And maybe you'll make some famous friends you can go clubbing with. Not enticed? Well I've got some photos.
Does this look like rehab? We think not.
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