#3

Run for office.

Yes, Barack. The sky's the limit!

It could be that we are just caught up in election year fever. But it seems like politics is the place to be these days to see and be seen, and we think that Colt's down home values will mesh well with the nation as a whole. It's no secret that while they were here in the ATX this past week, Democratic hopefuls Hillary Clinton and Barack Obama both met with Colt. Could it be that they see a little bit of that John Edwards charm emanating from everyone's favorite quarterback? Were they seeking his advice on health care reform? Were they simply pandering to the hometown crowd? We may never know the answers to these questions.

Point is, Colt could do good for our country, and he has the ideas to prove it.

Why reform health care? Simply drink eight glasses a day and you will never need to go to the doctor!

Taxes? Raise the asking price on luxury skyboxes at DKR-Texas Memorial Stadium, while passing on the savings to you, the middle-class season ticket holder!

Gay marriage? A lifetime in the locker room has certainly helped Colt see that there's nothing wrong with a little guy-on-guy action every now and then!

Border security? It's not our neighbors to the south we need to worry about, but those landgrabbers to the north! Yes, build a fence around Oklahoma, and shoot on site the ones trying to cross the Rio Rojo!

Colt McCoy: Change we can believe in!

Now let's not get ahead of ourselves. Colt does not yet have the experience needed to run a country, much less a dynamic offense, so he should simply enter as running mate at this point to either Clinton or Obama. As for McCain? Well, Colt likes to be on winning teams (ouch, sick burn!).

#4

Before we launch into the #4 item, I must provide some framework. First of all, we have taken our time providing this list due to the fact that football season is over and there will be much less Colt news anyway. And secondly, thanks to the Hollywood writer's strike we have been employed with much more lucrative work. Yeah, that's right, we're not scared of being scabs. This is a right to work state and besides, we've been writing TV episodes under fake names. With that explanation I bring you:

#4 - Go on a TV guest starring blitz
That's right, we've written several episodes of TV shows where Colt could easily make a guest appearance. And no, guest roles don't really rely on actual acting talent, but instead rely on the presence of the guest star. Which means Colt can stumble in drunk, smile for the camera, and stumble off set. Although we did suggest rehab so clean up your act already!
To begin the blitz, we suggest making an easy guest appearance on Friday Night Lights. It's shot in Austin, which means you won't have to travel far, and it's about football, so you understand it.
Synopsis:
Colt guest stars as the school's former quarterback who left town on a scholarship. He returns when he's kicked off his college team for excessive drug use. He hangs out with the high school kids and brings them negative influence.


We follow the FNL episode up with an episode of Ugly Betty. It may be a bit of a stretch considering Colt obviously knows little about fashion but that's why it's perfect for him. Plus, the episode we wrote is over the top hilarious.
Synopsis:
Colt plays a new unstylish assistant at the Mode office who befriends and bewitches Betty. Blinded by love, Betty doesn't realize that Colt is actually a staff writer for the men's magazine upstairs who's infiltrated Mode for an article on how to mistreat women in the fashion industry. By the time Betty makes the realization, Colt has already made Amanda the center of his article and has dug his emotional clutches into her. Betty is torn between stopping Colt from mocking Mode or letting Amanda learn an embarrassing lesson.


Next, we have an episode of Gossip Girl. Which would be perfect in the middle of this blitz because of Colt's rumored feud with Chace Crawford. What better to show the world you love your best frienemy than by guest starring on his hit tv show?
Synopsis:
Serena meets a sexy southern boy (Colt) at a bar and begins an intimate fling. Nate shows restrained jealousy, saying he doesn't trust this new guy. Nate soon finds out that Colt actually runs a blog on southern social scenes and is only using Serena for an article on the differences between the southern and upper east elite.
(Cheesy, we know. But no one in the office had actually seen an episode of Gossip Girl and so we just reused the Ugly Betty script...)


And finally, although we do not have any control over this next guest role due to the fact that Disney refused to return our calls and did not accept our offer to write, we suggest a cameo in the upcoming High School Musical 3. Why? Because it's the hottest thing since sliced bread and it will earn you tons and tons of pre-teen fans. Plus, we at the McBlog have decided to create an adult drinking game for the trilogy and having Colt in the 3rd movie would make it easier for us to hock on this blog.

What would Colt do? We don't know. Dance? Sing chorus? Better start practicing buddy. We heard through the grapevine that you've been skipping Wednesday night dance class at the Union...

#5

#5 - Two words: sex tape.


Come on, you knew this was coming. We're in the top 5 now, so there's no more screwing around, if you'll pardon my pun. More so than any other item on this list so far, sex tapes make overnight media darlings out of their participants, unless your name is Rick Solomon. Paris Hilton wasn't really all that big until her sex tape. Pamela Anderson achieved immortality with hers. Come on, someone out there's gotta have some footage on Colt! Now, just in case his morals get in the way, he could fit a sermon in there or something. Hey, the Christian bookstore sells sex books too! Who should be the other participant? I leave it up to you, the readers of the blog, to decide (yes, all three of you. Don't let us down!).