Colt Sighting: The Nebraska Game

So instead of the usual Post Game Report (really, the pictures just aint what they used to be), I can actually give you a first hand account of the game cause I was there! And Colt was there! And I saw him! So it qualifies as a Colt sighting.

It's a little hard watching the game in person. Colt gets slammed like every single play cause we have no o-line and you're pretty sure he's dead but he gets up, trooper that he is. And then everyone around me was yelling at him and I'm all "why don't you go try that yourself, you fat redneck?" (sorry, dad). I'm serious, I was about to throw down (and anyone who knows me knows how much of a lie that is). Also when Colt makes a big play, theres this video of him juggling footballs on the Godzillatron. I can't tell if it's computer animation or if he really is that good at juggling balls cause it's quite impressive.

So we won (just barely) and I decided to press my luck and try to follow Colt to the locker room. Long story short, I was released from the Travis County Jail this morning.

The Rumor Mill

I've been rather busy building some contacts within the Longhorn Football circle and it's starting to pay off. I found out from one source that Colt had enrolled in dance classes. Dance classes you ask? Well apparently our McCoy wants to improve his flexibility and stamina. Plus being the well mannered poon hound that he is, sometimes it takes a little ballroom dancing to really win over the ladies.
So 120 dollars later, I'm enrolled in a ballroom class but at my first lesson, Colt is nowhere to be found. By the by, I would really appreciate if you dedicated readers took some initiative and helped me recoup the costs. It turns out Colt has hired a publicist who also attends class with him and the whiny little bitch requires you speak to her before you can speak to Colt. So I approached the blonde bitchlet in her oversized sorority sweater at dance class and asked if it would be possible to set up a meet and greet with Colt. Yes, I phrased it like that, flashed my Erwin badge, and mumbled McCoy McBlog. She said Colt would rather not publicize his dance lessons and that I better just forget about it. I pried a little further and found out the real reason for Colt's lessons. Apparently #12 is hoping to make it onto the next season of Dancing With the Stars. He met Emmitt Smith at a luncheon and got some career advice, yadda yadda. When Colt finally arrived to dance class I was told it was general understanding that Colt was off limits. No one talks to him and he doesn't acknowledge anyone either.
That seemed a little strange and unbelievable. So in between foxtrots (oh come on, I wasn't really there to learn) I tried making casual conversation with Colt from across the room. Nothing really seemed to work. I finally had a chance during a quick water break. I introduced myself, flashed my Erwin badge, mumbled McCoy McBlog and launched into a line of questioning about Dancing With the Stars. Colt mumbled, smiled and darted off. That's when the bitchlet was back and said that Colt was disturbed by my presence and that I had to leave the class. I didn't think she had any real power over that decision but as it turns out, yes she does. Which explains how I am no longer allowed to pursue my love of ballroom on Wednesday nights from 8-10PM at the Texas Union.
But during my short lived attempt at dance fame I managed to snatch the following poster from the blonde's gym bag.

Baylor Game Recap

There's a clause in every Texas coach's contract that stipulates that if they loose to Baylor they are immediately fired. It's true. Look it up. Old Macky put that clause to the test on Saturday by barely beating Baylor 31-10. Don't let the score fool you. It was close up until the forth quarter, when Baylor fumbled like 84 times or something and saved us Texas (and Colt) fans the embarrassment of loosing in Waco. Back in the day, I used to go to the Baylor games in Waco 'cause its the only one my dad would shell out money for (the tickets price is something like two cans of food for the food drive or something). We would always blow them out 100-0 or a score close to that. Not this time however. Might I also add, as someone who lived in the vicinity of Waco, that you should never visit. They don't allow dancing, like the town in Footloose. It also smells. Bad. And it's boring. And it has been known to harbor really creepy cult members (Baylor students notwithstanding...)

But a win is a win. Complicating problems, Fernando did not take the best pictures Saturday afternoon so there aren't many. He will be punished accordingly. Hopefully he'll get his act together by next week when Colt...i mean...the team returns to town to play the Nebraska Cornholers (I kid!). Pictures? Pictures..


Colt shakes some sexually-frustrated woman's hand who doesn't deserve it. The woman on the right is trying to attack him. The guy on the left is totally snubbed. Everyone else looks on in awe. Guy back and center is kinda creepy.

A Baylor defender tries to strip Colt...of the ball! Number 44 goes for broke and makes a grab. No wonder Colt looks so damn scared. I'd also like to add here that I like Colt's shoes.

This might as well be called the BrownBlog as well since Macky is just as fascinating. I can't tell if he's celebrating a touchdown or if he just saw Jesus (maybe both?). Not to be rude, cause I have his best interests in mind, but he needs to loose a little weight. I really cant figure out what's wrong. He's fairly skinny overall, but it's just kinda hanging over.

So that's it for the game. Not much to say. There weren't even any good pictures of the pants. I found it interesting that Macky did not "congratulate" the Baylor coach. Hey, even Mack Brown has standards!

In other news, every time I research Colt I come across another quarterback. His name is Colt Brennan, and he plays for Hawaii and is apparently very good. And his name's Colt! Did I mention that? Apparently, him and our Colt were in a competition last year to see who could throw the most touchdowns and make a record or something. Our Colt won, or course. So this Colt Brennan kid. I think he is better than our Colt in one essential area. Interceptions? No! Shirtless pics!



Anyone want to go to Hawaii soon? Thus I had to revise my fantasy a little...



So my question for you, dear reader (I use the singular cause there is only one): which Colt makes your horses run?

Colt Sighting

Or something like that...so am I the only person who's heard rumors of a Mack/Colt rift? Well I'd like to lie and say that I asked Mack about this yesterday when I ran into him exiting the UT Athletes only gym at the Frank Erwin Center. As I was on my way around the building to clock in for work, Mack exited, saw me and went back to double check that the door had locked behind him. Trying to keep my prying eyes away? Either way Mack smiled (finally no scowling!) and said, "Good morning." Then I replied with a "Whasssuuuupppppp?!!!" Here's a sketch of what Mr. Brown looks like in work out gear:

Iowa State Game Recap

Granted, Iowa State is the worst team, like, ever in the history of football, but that doesn't mean that beating them 56-3 doesn't feel good. Best of all, Colt didn't throw a single interception. Not one! And he threw for something like 5,000 yards (we'd like to reiterate that hard hitting football commentary is not our forte here). Because the weather was a balmy -35 Fahrenheit or something in Iowa City or wherever it is that Iowa State resides, we once again sent our intern Fernando to cover the game.

Without further ado, the pictures:

Clear eyes, full hearts, can't loose! Colt prepares for the game by staring intently at a glass of milk over on the sidelines. I mean, just look at that focus. No way he's gonna let them loose today. We can't tell if Colt's greatest enemy is Sam Bradford, interceptions, his offensive line, or razor burn.

Just look at that throwing arm! He's not even breaking a sweat (once again, the score was 56-3 Texas). We can't figure out if this was just practice or an actual play, because there seem to be Longhorns all over the place. Unless this is some sort of new offensive plan where Colt has to beat teams on his own. Oh wait, he's been doing that already! Ya know, like this:
The Iowa State players look like they're playing chicken at the city pool and they're doing a really bad job at it. The town skank is not going to sleep with them! Not with that behavior! By the way, the patented UT-See-Through Pants strike again:
See what I mean? This is by far the most interesting development this year. Were they always like this? Or has Colt opened our eyes to a whole new world?

Awww, that's cute. Colt knew that Fernando was watching though. Why does Iowa State have fans, as evidenced in this picture? It must be like rooting for your little brother's (or sister's) baseball team. You're not really a fan of the team, just a certain player. I mean, if the team wins the Little League world series, you're not going to go out an get drunk and have sex with a prostitute, right? Right? You don't really care that much. You just want your little brother to not get hurt and maybe hit a double. Being an Iowa State fan is something like that. And no, we don't really understand that logic either.

Ahhh, Bobby's not going to like this. Not for a second. Macky's seeing another guy! Granted, it's Gene Chizik, former defensive coordinator for the Horns and current ISU coach. But is that really what he wears? Huge baggy sweat shirt and wind pants? Really? He looks like he's been sitting on the couch all day with a bucket of fried chicken watching reruns of MASH because his wife left him and the kids won't call him "daddy" anymore. Yeah, being the Iowa State coach is something like that. Especially after coaching at UT.

Another week, another recap. The video game screenshots from last week seemed to be a big hit. Problem is, we can't really justify Colt ripping the head off Iowa State's QB (whatever his name is). And we really have no reason to include any here today. Doesn't mean we aint gonna do it, though! Boredom's fun! And we do mean bored.



Now that's hot. And a little fantasy of ours, not gonna' lie! What was that noise? Oh, it was our one and only reader canceling his subscription to the internet because of that picture.

The Longhorns Crank Dat

Here's a video of the 2007 University of Texas Longhorn football team, just a year and a half removed from a national championship, acting the fool on the sideline during the UCF game. We thought it was kind of cute and fun to watch how each player does it. Now the reason we got so excited about this was that there is clearly a "#12" in the middle of the screen. But after watching it several times (research purposes you know), we noticed that "#12" looked....different from the one we know. Turns out there are two #12s on the team! His name is Earl Thomas, and according to his bio on the UT website, he enjoys the Disney Channel, the movie Little Giants, and can play the piano. And crank dat soulja boy, apparently. But you know what we bet he can't do? Swim across a lake to save a man's life, that's what.

Anyway, here's the video.

More of What You Asked For

Our tens of ones of fans have been clamoring for more updates. At some point this week we'll have the recap of the Iowa State game complete with more of Fernando's award-winning photography. And word on the street is that a rundown of our McCoy McDiet is in the works. And we're always looking for Colt Sightings. Get those camera phones out! In the mean time, here's another picture. We were going to save it for a rainy day, but it does indeed appear as if it is going to rain here in Austin, Colt's hometown. If you want, add a caption to the picture in the comments section. Let us know you're out there!

OU Game Recap

To be completely honest, we really didn't watch much of the game because we were too busy planning for the McCoy McBlog McLaunchParty (which was quite exciting, by the way), but we think we can piece together an accurate account of the game based on the pictures our unpaid intern Fernando took up in Dallas. Mind you, you aren't going to find play by play recaps here, or analysis, or anything really having to do with the game itself. We like to pride ourselves on telling you about the things that really matter.


To get pepped up for the game, Colt listens to his dad reading passages from the Bible. Perhaps that is why he is so angry? Also on rotation in the playlist: AC/DC, Hoobastank, The Frey, Carrie Underwood, and Depeche Mode (that one got on there by accident, but Colt kinda likes it!)


The biggest story of the game, of course, was when Bob Stoops tried to stab Colt in the back. In Bob's defense, the little lady in the middle forced him at gunpoint to do it.

This doesn't really have anything to do with Colt, but we think it was worth pointing out that Mack and Bob don't actually hate each other. In fact, they were actually quite cordial. Here, inspired by a French movie they saw together, Macky and Bobby (as they call each other) blow kisses.

Might we just add that the UT pants are a little TOO see through? Not that there's anything wrong with that...



So yeah, Texas didn't win and that really sucks. Colt's face says it all. They played a good game, though. But look at the fire in his eyes. You know he wasn't going to let them get away that easily... (and might we just add that #22's gloves kinda freak us out. It's like the Invisible Man is hugging him. Or something). What happened after the game, you might ask?


Oh yes, Colt would get his revenge in the parking lot after the game. This is a McCoy McBlog exclusive! Little known fact: McCoy is a 7th degree black belt in Tae Kwan Do. It's true. Colt showed all the drunken fair-goers that he truly is a milk-fueled, one-man army!


And so Colt was finally victorious. It should be noted that Bradford was fine, 'cause Colt is not in the business of offing people off (unlike, say, a certain OU linebacker). Sam is just going to be playing with a bit of a sore shoulder next week.

So there you have it. Our first recap. UT, and Colt, played a decent game but dumb mistakes ended up costing us. Loosing always sucks, especially to OU, and especially when the team could have won it. As our dad once told us, no matter what happens in the game, at least you are not from Oklahoma. And that never ceases to make us feel better! Hook 'Em!

case of the mondays?

your shirtless mccoy photos would be greatly appreciated.

McMilk

just for fun.

OU Still Sucks

Howdy Ya'll!

Welcome to McCoy McBlog, the internet's number one source for all things McCoy. We're just getting started but thanks to the power of milk we'll be up and running at full speed soon.

We would like to take this opportunity to thank Jesus for the internet.

Here's a preview of what you will find here:

The Rumor Mill

For all rumors regarding number 12 himself.

Colt Sightings

When Colt hits the town our cameras are there! And if not at least we can tell you about it. 

Post Game Reviews

Colt might've dropped the ball...or thrown a few interceptions but we still love him.

The Colt Diet

How many glasses of milk a day? We'll tell you exactly how much McMilk it takes to be McCoy.

Hook 'Em.