Iowa State Game Recap

Granted, Iowa State is the worst team, like, ever in the history of football, but that doesn't mean that beating them 56-3 doesn't feel good. Best of all, Colt didn't throw a single interception. Not one! And he threw for something like 5,000 yards (we'd like to reiterate that hard hitting football commentary is not our forte here). Because the weather was a balmy -35 Fahrenheit or something in Iowa City or wherever it is that Iowa State resides, we once again sent our intern Fernando to cover the game.

Without further ado, the pictures:

Clear eyes, full hearts, can't loose! Colt prepares for the game by staring intently at a glass of milk over on the sidelines. I mean, just look at that focus. No way he's gonna let them loose today. We can't tell if Colt's greatest enemy is Sam Bradford, interceptions, his offensive line, or razor burn.

Just look at that throwing arm! He's not even breaking a sweat (once again, the score was 56-3 Texas). We can't figure out if this was just practice or an actual play, because there seem to be Longhorns all over the place. Unless this is some sort of new offensive plan where Colt has to beat teams on his own. Oh wait, he's been doing that already! Ya know, like this:
The Iowa State players look like they're playing chicken at the city pool and they're doing a really bad job at it. The town skank is not going to sleep with them! Not with that behavior! By the way, the patented UT-See-Through Pants strike again:
See what I mean? This is by far the most interesting development this year. Were they always like this? Or has Colt opened our eyes to a whole new world?

Awww, that's cute. Colt knew that Fernando was watching though. Why does Iowa State have fans, as evidenced in this picture? It must be like rooting for your little brother's (or sister's) baseball team. You're not really a fan of the team, just a certain player. I mean, if the team wins the Little League world series, you're not going to go out an get drunk and have sex with a prostitute, right? Right? You don't really care that much. You just want your little brother to not get hurt and maybe hit a double. Being an Iowa State fan is something like that. And no, we don't really understand that logic either.

Ahhh, Bobby's not going to like this. Not for a second. Macky's seeing another guy! Granted, it's Gene Chizik, former defensive coordinator for the Horns and current ISU coach. But is that really what he wears? Huge baggy sweat shirt and wind pants? Really? He looks like he's been sitting on the couch all day with a bucket of fried chicken watching reruns of MASH because his wife left him and the kids won't call him "daddy" anymore. Yeah, being the Iowa State coach is something like that. Especially after coaching at UT.

Another week, another recap. The video game screenshots from last week seemed to be a big hit. Problem is, we can't really justify Colt ripping the head off Iowa State's QB (whatever his name is). And we really have no reason to include any here today. Doesn't mean we aint gonna do it, though! Boredom's fun! And we do mean bored.



Now that's hot. And a little fantasy of ours, not gonna' lie! What was that noise? Oh, it was our one and only reader canceling his subscription to the internet because of that picture.